It hardly needs saying how serious the COVID-19 pandemic is – and how fundamentally life is changing for us all, now and into the foreseeable future. This post is about exploring where all this leaves those we coach and ourselves in terms of the ambitions and ways of life that are now thrown up in the air, or thrown out.
The central theme is about perspective. Do we urge those we coach to carry on, maybe finding inventive ways to keep them and ourselves going? (To a certain extent, yes.) Or do we reluctantly accept that every ambition and aspiration must be put on hold as “the bigger scheme of things” takes priority? (Well, no, not quite.)
This post shares some personal reflections, delving into the mindsets and emotions that are certain to be at play. These lead me to offer three shifts in perspective that I hope will help other coaches and those we coach. There’s some practical stuff at the end too (just in case you thought I’d disappeared into a deep and dark philosophical cave).
Let’s start by opening up the nature of our athletes’ and our drive and motivation – the force that compels us to keep going against the odds and is now, maybe left reeling as events overtake us and put up seemingly insurmountable barriers.
The Mindset of a Driven Athlete
I’ve been thinking back to how driven I was – first as a moderately successful, very skinny runner training over a 100 miles a week through the Winter and then later, with a bit more weight and changed physique, a triathlete, just as dedicated, going for big and bigger challenging, competitive events.
One of the features was a single mindedness. Being ruthlessly honest, although there were lots of other things in my life, when it came to training and racing it was as if family, work and everything else faded into the background and I focused entirely and narrowly on the single challenge ahead.
A second feature might be thought of as an edginess to find the edge, by which I mean obsessively looking out for whatever might give an edge: what extra kit, gadgets and gizmos might shave off some seconds, the latest training fads and fashions to try out and see if it made me stronger, faster, fitter…
Finally, I think I also had an almost desperate sense of urgency and immediacy – whatever the activity or challenge it had to be tackled there and then, no sessions missed and no delays or picking up a target at some other (probably for the family more convenient) time. It was as if living by a succession of one-off, unmissable opportunities that had to be seized or would be forever gone.
I can recall how desperately frustrated I felt when even relatively minor disruptions got in the way, such as a niggling injury forcing a break from the training or I had to pull out of an up and coming event (almost never happened!). How much harder then as all the current restrictions close in and throw our plans in the air! That narrow challenge is wiped off the calendar and with it the sense of purpose and meaning-filled and -fuelled focus; the relentless quest for marginal gains is rendered irrelevant as we bend to “the bigger scheme of things”; and the sense of immediacy drifts off into a seemingly timeless, never ending uncertainty.
Picking up on each of these, I offer the following three thoughts that are guiding my own way of dealing with what’s happening, finding a perspective that feels grounded and safe and that works for those I coach. These also chime with other suggestions I’ve seen, notably from an excellent initiative by two Robs: Rob Griffiths & Rob Robson’s Motivational Sports Coach: COVID-19 Psychological Survival Guide.
Reframing Purpose
In their first blog post, Rob Griffiths highlights that we need to “radically redefine success”, letting go of the short to medium term competition goals. A current case in point is a client I started working with earlier this year who, in a brave (she says impulsive) moment, applied for the Dart 10km swim this September – and needed to learn how to swim front crawl, pretty much starting from scratch. She has been doing amazingly, developing an efficient smooth style and building up distances that just a matter of weeks ago would have been unimaginable. Her husband said to me she’s “turned into an otter.” What inspiring drive and focus!
At first when all her local swimming pools shut and then the prospect of the Dart 10k being cancelled arose (not yet decided but hanging in the balance), I sensed her deeply disappointed, frustrated reaction centred around that one single event – a resigned “well, that’s gone hasn’t it?” and “maybe next year” with a tinge of “and what are you going to come up with to replace it?”
The Dart 10k: Photo by Vivienne Rickman-Poole, Outdoor Swimming Society
We talked things through and began to broaden the perspective. As a new swimmer there’s a whole world of open water experiences to be enjoyed. This year the Dart 10k might or might not be one of them. And there’s so much more to come in terms of how great she feels swimming, only a small part of which gets defined by swimming down the Dart on one day in September (much as it’ll be brilliant when it happens).
I know this in myself - though it’s a struggle sometimes. I’m slowly and reluctantly accepting that I won’t beat my PBs for 5km and 10 mile road races, set around 35 years ago, nor win any more races. But I can still seek to find the better runner in me - defined not by his times and competitive places but by his fluency and relaxed form, more attuned to which parts of the body are working at their best and at one with the environment. Which brings us to the next mindset.
Connections
What about that relentless search for the minutiae of performance improvements, now seemingly rendered irrelevant? This is where the issue of perspective most directly comes to the fore.
Now, I lost my wife almost 14 years ago – no chance to go back and make up for all those hours I spent relentlessly, single mindedly pursuing my sport. Gradually I’ve come to the view that what can sustain and ground me in a more balanced, healthy perspective and way of being is essentially about seeking out and nurturing three types of connections:
to the environment: over the years I’ve found that being in the natural environment both stills and energises me, whether it’s out on the Downs on a mountain bike, plunging into the sea or running through forests – or as in my last blog post, falling over cross country skiing. In my younger, speedier days I think I was often in too much of a hurry, preoccupied with holding the set pace or time to take in much around me, my mind absorbed in the next race. More than ever the coronavirus and climate crisis shouts out at us to connect more deeply with nature.
to others: I’m quite an introvert and not particularly sociable. Yet I find a richness and calming sense of perspective through making meaningful connections with people. This is about having an inquisitiveness and curiosity about the person in front of us in even the briefest of encounters. There’s a post on my ZigZag Alive coaching site that captures something of this, as it happens from last year’s Dart 10k. And though it feels sad that at my Tri Club we’ve called off all sessions – we’re a super friendly social bunch – meaningful connections can still be maintained in all sorts of ways, even if not face to face.
to ourselves: a key principle of Confidence Centred Coaching is to develop in our athletes what I think of as a relaxed alertness (borrowing a super phrase from Erich Fromm) to what they are feeling: aware of their form, the energy and effort made and the fluency of movement. This is about being connected to ourselves rather than being ruled by fancy gadgets and measures. With it comes a self-belief and confidence as well as an ability to adjust in the moment. And back to the reframing of our goals and ambitions, it helps find the very best in ourselves, rooted in our inner most selves rather than external measures of success.
There’s a deeper thread running through here: our redefined sense of purpose, to be and enjoy the best we can be, gives rise to meaningful connections. These in turn can give a sense of belonging and identity. By nurturing my connection with nature I gain a deeper sense of my place in the wider world; by being curious and caring toward others I gain a sense of belonging and identifying as part of various groups and communities; and by being more alert to my feelings and emotions I can be more self aware, kinder to myself and less inclined to judge myself and others by less important, external measures.
Control and Finding Stillness
So what of that sense of gaping uncertain timelessness, of not seeing any end to where we are, when before we operated on the frantic basis of everything having to be done there and then? I think of two, related aspects.
First, there obviously has to be a big dose of letting go and accepting what the Two Robs highlight are the ‘uncontrollables’. I’m working through this challenge of time as controllable and uncontrollable with another swim client, this one building up to the swim the Channel in June. He has his slot, pilot and the support boat all booked. Training had been going well, gradually building up the time in the water and getting on top of nutrition and other essentials. We were due to go on a Swim Camp two weeks ago to get his 6 hour cold water qualifier (without which the attempt can’t go ahead) and to begin preparing the last phase of training. The trip was cancelled (quite rightly) and soon after all pools closed. As I write it’s very unclear whether any Channel swims will be sanctioned – but almost certainly not his early Summer one.
There is a chance, however, that a late season slot would be available – depending on those uncontrollables of what happens over these coming weeks and months. So we’re rewriting the carefully worked out plan along much more fluid lines, maintaining a base of fitness by moderately long sea and river swims so that he is ready to make a final big step up should a window for the Channel open up later in the year.
The second aspect relates to boredom – on which again the Two Robs have posted another useful blog – the lack of stimulation that is likely to be felt acutely by our frustrated athletes (as well as pretty much everyone else in lock down). They suggest this can lead to a lethargic, “why bother doing anything” apathy. There’s also the potential for a more rebellious, cabin fever type wilful flouting of rules. Neither is going to be particularly helpful.
Whilst they suggest an antidote of looking for other forms of stimulation, I wonder if there’s also a space for finding a stillness in ourselves that is so absent in that frantic, everything has to be done to a fixed time mindset.
The Norwegian explorer and writer Erling Kagge in his wonderful book Silence in the Age of Noise talks about boredom as a feeling of being held captive in ourselves. We instinctively want to reach out for distractions to get away from what he calls experiential poverty - and not only when nothing is happening to grab or command our attention, but also when there is too much happening, it all leaving us untouched and disengaged. These latter circumstances might not seem so relevant to life in a lock down but the point is that experiential poverty lies within us, not in any dearth nor abundance of external stimuli and diversions.
“The more you try to avoid boredom, the more bored you become.”
I believe we can find in ourselves an enriching, calming stillness – Erling Kagge would call it a silence – that more than ever is needed, that helps us be more at ease with the things we can’t control and will help see us through these difficult times and beyond.
Some Practical Stuff
So, maybe you got tired of all that philosophical stuff and skipped to the end – in which case welcome back! Or you’ve made it to the end and want some “so what do we do” answers – in which case thanks and hope it’s been useful, or at least thought provoking so far.
At the risk of sounding contrived, the answers are not so much in what we do as in what we are. Here’s a selection of things that I am seeking to do/be with my coached athletes and with others:
emphasising staying safe
being mindful of the need to eat and sleep to maintain a healthy immune system
keeping our regular online and phone contacts going, even though there might be less to prescribe or report on
fixing on daily routines, such as a morning walk or run, time spent reading, contacting others, being still
accepting that time is not in our control
anchoring any revised plans and ambitions in a gratitude to be able to do what we do
jumping in the sea as often as conditions allow (social distancing not really being an issue when it’s this cold)
being as generous to those close to me as I am to myself in my self-indulgences
As always great to have any thoughts and reflections in the Comments box below.
Big thanks to the Two Robs for the Motivational Coaching in COVID-19 initiative and others who are actively contributing and sharing - if you’ve not signed up yet, go to their FaceBook page.
Training continues - coached and coach at a safe social distance